If you are having problems finding friends....maybe you could talk with your therapist about it......sometimes there are issues with our own personalities that can drive people away from us on the friend/acquaintance end of things (family is a different issue of abandonment).

If they feel we are too clingy or too needy & we put so much demands on a friendship.....sometimes me makes some people want to flee because they aren't capable of providing what the friendship requires to keep it going. I know in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) there is a section in it called interpersonal effectiveness & it helps us learn how to express ourselves with others & learn the appropriate way to communicate our thoughts & needs.

Might also be something to look into.

But then again, sometimes we pick the wrong people to want to be friends with.....the kind that will leave....not intentionally, but because sometimes the brain thinks we don't deserve better because of all the previous times & even though it's NOT TRUE, our mind subconsciously picks those people in our life who will end up leaving.

That saying...."with friends like that, who needs enemies?"....sometimes we are better off without those kinds of people in our life anyway...but we have to learn to get our radar sensitive to the good people in this world who will be TRUE friends & who are capable of dealing with difficult situations the other goes through.

I guess I'm sensitive to that side of the picture because after 33 years, I left my bad marriage & H because I couldn't deal with him or his personality any longer........it's only been in the last several months that I have come to realize that all those years & all his life asperger's has been the driving force of his personality. It didn't make sense because he was NICE......but the things he did & the way he was came across emotionally abusive to me & I couldn't take living like that any longer......one of his final comments was that he thought I would continue tolerating him for the rest of our lives.........but I couldn't do it any longer. Some people don't wait 33 years to leave......so YES, I abandoned him....but I was also taking care of myself......could he have made changes? I think it could have been possible to some extent. I think that less now that I realize the cause then when I just thought he was being a horrible jerk who was able to do nice things without being nice.

Relationships are complicated at best. I had no friends where I lived & in the environment I was living in....now that I am alone & free from that environment, I have been able to make wonderful friends who I can honestly say are true friends & who are there through the good & the bad.

We have to look at the things that we can change because that is the only place we have any control over. If there is nothing we can change then we just have to look for those people who are better able to be friends....friendship is NOT something we can force to happen.

Personalities either get along or they don't & it's usually not until we get to know the person that we are able to tell that unless there are up front things that push people away in the first place.....those are the things we need to analyze.