What you describe, tired girl90 is what depression is about. You wrote that you've been off of Luvox for most of the year & now you can feel again, but that's over-rated. You don't want to go back on med's & you don't trust therapists. So, I guess my question would be how to do plan to get better? There are no secret formulas for healing from depression, or any other mental health challenge. There's pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, so to speak: eating healthy foods, vitamins, etc., exercise, & positive thinking. Then there's therapy & med's. That's pretty much it. It sounds like you've already concluded that you can't do it yourself. And you don't want to take med's & you don't trust therapists. It seems to me that you're resigning yourself to ongoing illness, whether you like it or not.

It's unfortunate that you didn't get invited to that party; & that your mom would rather read mail ads than listen to you. But, the reality is that we have no control over what others do. We only have control, potentially, over ourselves & how we react to these kinds of situations.

So, anyway, assuming that you can't find the where-with-all to "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps", I would like to encourage you to reconsider your position with regard to med's & therapy. I don't know how many med's you've tried, or therapists you've seen. But, in both cases, it can take time to find ones that work for you. It's a process of trial-&-error, unfortunately. The really great thing here is that you're still young & you CAN beat this! I'm old & I'll tell you from experience, it doesn't get better with age. It gets harder. The older you get the less resilience you have & the less strength you have to fight back. So again, from my perspective at least, tackle this problem while you're still young. Don't just let it drag on hoping that someday it will just go away. Chances are, it won't. I wish you all the best.