How old are your kids?
It sounds like you have been feeling this way for a long time. What is it that you are missing in your relationship? Have you asked for what it is that you're missing?

And are you missing it in your marriage, or do you need to expand your own life so that it provides some of the needs that your husband does not meet?

I think it's a mistake to expect a relationship to provide everything. When we are feeling vibrant in ourselves it is easier to create the vibrance that will allow our relationship to stay alive (or come back to life).

That's not to say that whatever is missing from your marriage isn't important enough to be decisive for you. But it is worth asking first what is going on within you ... whether some of you you see "out there" is actually "in here."

It sounds like your relationship is very deep together ... the pain included, I understand. I hope you are able to reach a place of healing, whatever your decisions. Please use us for support!