I've just started back on Seroquel for the first time in years. It's completely knocked me out and I've missed work for 2 days now. Now, I usually work when I'm sick and even when I should have been in hospital (they wanted to keep me in earlier this year because I was medium risk to myself), but my mum still seems mainly concerned about my job. I mean, yeah, I have a great job, but it just makes me feel like I can't focus on getting better because my job is more important or something. I have pushed through some of the hardest depressions and still been at work - I would just go into the bathrooms and cry when I needed to. I've put my health on the back burner for so long. Even when my grandfather passed away, I went straight back to work the day after I watched the undertakers wheel his body away because I felt I couldn't afford to miss work or lose my job (I then went completely hypomanic). I would say I'm thinking irrationally, but then I have my mum in my ear every time she knows I have missed a day of work for a valid reason, telling me that I have a great job I can't afford to lose.

As far as my boss knows, I was struggling with fatigue earlier in the year and had to have some tests done at the doctors (which after a bunch of tests saying I'm physically normal, I realised was my depression), so my work colleagues think I have a physical condition, they just don't know exactly what.

I don't really want to disclose to my boss that I have Bipolar because we work closely with members of the parliament and there has just been a big (very public) issue of one of them not showing up for work or parliament, he has been charged for contempt/fraud and lost his job after months of this happening. This member of parliament had also disclosed he had bipolar (although he feels he was forced to). And just the whole situation was bad. Now I am afraid to disclose my condition to my boss (Or have anyone find out) because Bipolar doesn't have a very good reputation right now and I don't want to be seen differently, especially since a lot of my work is confidential and needs to be handled with caution. And I am good at what I do.

I'm really not sure what to do. I want to get better. I'm getting to a point where I can't keep putting my health on the back burner or I'm afraid I might end up doing something irreversible. My husband works, but I have always worked as well. I just wish my mum didn't have such an influence on me.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? What have you done? Have you had to make a hard decision which has turned out for the better? Or made a decision you wish you hadn't?
Am I being irrational or overthinking this?