I haven't started a thread here in a quite awhile...I think I've been semi-coasting in therapy /:

But I'm really struggling tonight with this anger **** I feel in therapy. I don't really connect my anger as being directed at my t, but more a fear of him becoming angry with me. Yet, I get the strong feeling - well my t said as much - that I'm angry at him and the whole process. I can't feel that as much as I feel a fear of him becoming angry with me! If I am projecting, it's doing a really good job of protecting me here....

Anyone else struggle with negative transference? I'm so panicky now because I expressed some of my more negative feelings and I'm feeling sure my T is disgusted with me. I feel like I want to write him or call him just to make things "better"....I'm feeling so needy it's out of control. I just don't even want to talk about my anger anymore cause it leads me here. Ugh.

I want positive transference and for my T to like me. To have a positive, supportive relationship but I feel like a bad seed. I hear so many people on these boards who have positive relationships with their Ts, and though I know it's not the same for everyone, I just feel left out