I just realized that everything I thought was true, was indeed true. I've fooled myself for years that I was making friends and fitting in or that people cared about me when deep down it all felt false and it's taken me a lifetime that my instincts were right all along. So I've spent my entire life trying to fit in and be a good person and friend to others and not one bit of it mattered. People just don't like me, it is what it is. I don't know why but does it really matter? I don't really like much of them either.
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