My name is Nate and i am 21. This life is proving to be a waste of time and i feel like i am always isolated from the people i want in my life because its true, it doesn't make any sense anymore and im getting tired of it. I lost my mom in a tragic fire 11 years ago when i was 9 years. Some of you probably know about it, it was the Rhode Island Station Nightclub Fire and my brother was 2 at the time. I was seperated from my brother a year later and so we only see eachother once a year, it used to only be for 2 weeks for some years and now we get to see eachother for about a month and a half because he lives in another state. And we both hate being seperated. Of course i don't cry cause i don't show my feelings. I went to counseling for abut 5 years to different counselors and through many different groups and i never succeeded cause i was never willing to talk about my feelings and i still don't. But well lets just say my best friend from high school i never get to talk to her anymore cause like always i get seperated from the important people in my life.

It was last year when i started getting really depressed about everything about my mom not being here since she pasted away and being separated from my brother. And you know somthing great happened at least i thought it was, my cousin that i havent seen like for 10 years since we were young, i got her number from my aunt because she said that she had recently got in touch with her. And i started talking to her and then like always some magical stuff happens and she goes off to college and i havent been able to talk to her in about 7 months i think, i havent counted because it aggravates, because she is so tied up with work and college. So this life is pretty stupid now, and i only get isolated from the people i want in my life, and you wonder why im depressed. I mean is it really that hard to have someone you want in your life! its the same game over and over again.

My family doesn't even know im depressed cause i haven't said anything, and i don't want to cause i don't want to talk to them about. My cousin was the only one i was willing to talk to and now im back to square one. So in conclusion i don't need anyone anymore!

IDK im confused now, ever since i graduated high school 2 years ago ive been feeling lost. I live by myself with my grandparents!