JaneC,

The language of parts is just that -- language.

We use this language all the time in less scary contexts than therapy. For example, "Part of me wants to exercise but part of me wants to lay on the couch."

Or, "Part of me feels bad for her but part of me is angry that she takes it out on her friends."

A user named silverleaf asked a similar question recently.

This was part of my response:

I'm doing lifespan integration therapy right now to integrate all my parts from different ages. It's weird at first, but I think that the vocabulary of parts helps me to talk about all the conflicting feelings and emotions I have about how my life has turned out.

The problem is that I could turn off whole parts of myself depending on the situation. Sometimes, I even went through life in a dreamlike state where a competent, cheerful version of me took over and the brooding sad me was stuck inside.

It's all sort of weird, but it has helped me tremendously.

I feel more my whole self now than ever. And, I feel more in control over my parts. Meaning, I can choose which part shows up and takes over at which time.

It's not multiple personality disorder, or dissociative identity disorder, because EVERYONE has parts. The problem is only when these parts are so different and are causing troubles for you.

For example, I had random crying episodes that I could not control. So then the competent part of me started internally talking so negatively to the crying part of me. "Why are you crying? You're so weak. You're so stupid!"

I learned that critical voice was just trying to protect me from pain.

But now, I've learned that my core self can soothe the crying part of myself, and I can have self compassion, while the critical voice can stand down and let go a little bit so that I am not practicing so much self hatred.

The crying, wounded part is trapped in a prior time.

In terms of the science behind it, I think that everything about parts is really just a language with which to talk about how we can have internal conflicts. And also, if you have an automatic anxiety response to stimuli (which I do with PTSD from abuse), then talking about parts gives you a tool to soothe the part of you that is stuck.

....

I've actually done the lifespan integration exercise now. It was powerful. I haven't written about it much on these forums because it was so deep. But, I do like how I am rescuing myself and seeing how other good people in my life have contributed to my story.

This helps me to not feel like it is the therapist who is so important. The therapist is a guide but I'm realizing that my life won't be shattered when therapy is over.

Good luck. I know it is weird.

I got angry and embarrassed when my T first brought up parts. But then, I realize that the critic in me got exposed. And it needed to get exposed (again, I know, SO WEIRD), because then it would shut up and stop talking so meanly to me. (Again, I feel crazy typing this but I'm a normal functioning adult and parent.) It took me almost a year to get comfortable enough with the therapist to even entertain these ideas.