Sorry you're in so much pain. I know that with me, I have wanted to be a part of my T's real life, and since she treats me so incredibly and understands me, it's hard to remember that I am just a client. But my T still really cares about me, and it sounds like your T cares a lot about you too, or you wouldn't be this upset. I wanted my T to see me as a daughter, so I never asked her if she has kids. She probably does, but I couldn't stand it if I knew that. It sucks that you found out the thing that would make you upset. I hope you will be able to talk with her about this when she gets back and to spend some time processing it. In time, you may get to a place where it feels okay and you can accept it, even if it changes how you view your relationship with your T. Is it hurting you that she didn't tell you why she was going on vacation?