Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
I would call her tomorrow and ask her to respect *your* wishes rather than deciding what is best for you based on her own experience.
You are the expert on you, and I wholeheartedly support your desire for a letter as a momento of your time together and a way to hold on to that caring in a tangible sense.
I'm not like your therapist: when I left my first counselor after a few months of seeing her in high school because she was changing jobs, I had a photo and small gift from her and they're invaluable. I wouldn't trade them for the world and I feel NO shame for having asked for things I've wanted: isn't it critical in life to ask for what we desire? I don't think there's anything about asking that really has to diminish the gift. Asking is *not* forcing people into giving us unwanted gifts: it is about letting people who care about us know what would help us.
If she's unsure what to say, no doubt a short piece would still be helpful, just to the effect that it was a pleasure to get to know you in therapy and she cares about you and trusts that you will do wonderfully in life....
doesn't have to be a novel, and doesn't have to try to be the 'be all and end all' of letters.... not perfect, just human.
Best to you: I know how hard that is.  |
Thanks for passionately sticking up for me.
I see what you're saying, and a part of me does ask "would it really be that difficult?" It was very important to me because I was going to use it to "survive" right now, and she did say that she would do it. But I didn't tell all the details, so it's a little more complicated.
When I asked for the letter, I felt awkward about asking and prefaced it with "I feel like I'm asking for a lot lately..." She stopped me and said that I should not feel bad about asking for things, and that I didn't have to qualify what I wanted. It was completely okay with her that I asked. I just wonder if she decided not to do it because of her personal boundaries, or if she was truly considering what was best for me. I'm always bumping up against her boundaries and not understanding where they are or why they are the way they are. But I think I need to trust her decision. Also, she did give me something tangible, which is nice: she gave me a journal. So at least I have that to hold onto. It smells like her.
Thank you, it is hard. It seems like she's making a big deal out of something that's not, but at the same time I do trust her. She really doesn't want to minimize anything that we've done, and I guess she's being careful just in case the letter would do that.