Please be proud of how you are handling things. You are carrying a heavy load and it takes a lot.
People tend to be hard on themselves when in situations that are difficult. Just know that is takes energy and it is good you have a t, and are aware of what you are dealing with.

It takes time, energy and commitment at your end to move forward. You are OK, you are doing just fine. Love yourself and keep focus. I'll agree Dexter is a beautiful person but SO ARE YOU.

gab