i feel guilty because i did some serious facebook stalking which invaded on Her life and Her own family.

i’m sad because i love Her and now that She will be married, there is no chance ever. It’s over, everything is over, my life is over.

i’m also very intimidated by this guy, this guy seems funny, talented, nice, well educated, and confident so i would never be able to compete with that.

i’m intimidated also because the two of Them are definitely much more educated than me and They’re probably rich and stuff.

i really think this is punishment for all the bad things i’ve done in my life. i deserve this.

i feel scared because i don’t know how to talk to Her about this. And i need to at some point because the guilt will crush me like it always does.

i guess i’m also sad because She didn't tell me the reason for Her vacation but She doesn't tell me anything about Her personal life, that’s Her policy, and even if She wanted to i’m sure She knew this kind of information would make me really emotional and sad so She probably figured it would hurt less to not know. And She would be right. But i found out. i wish i never first looked Her up on google like a year or two ago. Then none of this would've happened.