So heres the thing: I have a masters in Counseling. I was a play therapist for children for 3 years. I learned all about how to counsel people, how to diagnose people, what answers counselors/psychologists are looking for, etc. So, it makes it hard for me not to over analyze all of my feelings and others' feelings. If I go to counseling, I think about what the right answer should be, or what technique the counselor is using and why. At home I think about my thoughts and what having depressive thoughts mean and if I ask a question this way would the response be different than if I asked it another way.

And then, there are times that I throw all of that out the window and just scream and yell and nag and argue. But I'm constantly thinking of all the negative things in my life. How I hate my job. How I don't like fundamental things about my soon to be In-Laws. How Im not even sure I like my fiancé anymore. How no one takes the time to "hear" me or understand all of these thoughts.

And then the guilt and shame comes. I feel guilty that Im always so negative and making others's lives around me so horrible. I work with my fiancé and my brother - all day, 5 days a week - from my fiancé and I's home. (We are trying to get an office, but its taking forever). I fight with them all day, even just about doing my job. And that makes their job harder.

I want to work on becoming more positive. Joining this forum is my first step. Ive started exercising and eating healthier as well. I just can't tell if the feelings I'm having towards my fiancé are because I don't like him or because Im unhappy with myself. But I need to figure it out soon because we are getting married this year!