Seriously, you are, as Frankbtl and others have duly noted, not alone. This is depression, it is real, and it hurts. I am not sure about you, but one of the comforts that I find on these forums is the support and encouragement, particularly when the darkest hours are looming. I agree with Fuzzybear (the name that brings me a smile each time I think it because of that children's rhyme Fuzzy-Wuzzy)...I hope this passes soon.