I was molested for 9 years as a child and then raped my freshman year of college. I had a need to feel connected to someone and I tried to be in relationships, but as hard as I tried when the relationship moved towards intimacy I really struggled. It triggered what I now know is my PTSD. I don't even masturbate because it triggers me.

A while back I was discussing relationships with my pdoc and she asked if I saw myself in a relationship in my future. She saw exactly what I was feeling - the adult me wanted to say yes, but my little girl was saying "oh hell no!!!".

My thought is, that because of the traumas you endured, you are asexual, but it's due to PTSD. Are you in any type of therapy to help you overcome what happened?