I remember as a little boy being genuinely happy. Then 7th grade and depression hit. I think I have spent 90% of my days in moderate to mild depression. This doesn't count the long periods or severe depression the last five years. I guess I have had joy here and there but not a ton. I have learned to settle for contentment. If I have contentment I am ok with it. But I should mention the meds I have been on the last two months have been working great. Better than any meds ever in 20 years. So don't give up hope.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman
Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.
Male, 50
Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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