Recently I had some things happen that apparently shook loose some very early memories and with them a lot of affect that I hadn't had access to before. At first this seemed healing, but then I started having the affect connect up with all the trauma I've gone through. It was almost unbearable. I was re-experiencing everything with all the emotions in place and all at once. Totally overwhelming.

So my therapist, who is also an analyst, offered to see me every day to help me get through. We just finished our first we working like this. It has been an amazing experience. By the end of the week we had hit a core issue that hadn't really surfaced in all my time in therapy. At first I was fearful and shocked because I hadn't realized how early and profoundly I had deadened part of myself in order to survive. Suddenly that part was "seen" and it was scary. Then I felt immensely sad for having gone though life in a deadened state. Eventually I felt a little bit of hope that at least it was possible to get out of this deadened state and become more alive.

With so much going on, I really want to continue working this way. He had offered to do this for a month, but we only scheduled two weeks of sessions. I don't know if I should push it, but I see so much potential for healing due to the intensification of our meeting and working together.