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Originally Posted by ladytiger
Good question. My ex-therapist and I spoken about inner child telling me I need to parent my inner child and help the inner child do things that my parents should have been doing as parents, but never did. I was thinking 'how do I do that? How do you parent yourself? Do you need kids in order to do it?' I felt confused and after therapy, I have been trying to "parent my inner child" to do/learn the things my parents should have taught as a kid and I can hear myself starting to cry when I can't figure something out and give up.
She didn't give me any assignments on working on my inner child. I was trying to do something at home and got very frustrated at the object, I could feel the tears in my eyes that's what I've always done when I was a kid is cry over it and get bored with it then leave. Nobody told me to work at it until you get it, how could I do that when I was called every name in the book daily?
I am still trying and feel like I am not doing a good job "parenting the inner child." I was asking myself 'how does a loving parent talk to their children when they are struggling? How do they do it?' My ex-therapist expected me to work on it on my own...really? Why even go to therapy?
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how to do that....well that depends on what inner child means to you....for some people inner child means the therapy technique of everyone has times when they feel like a child, react like a child... how to parent this kind of thing is by doing things for yourself like a parent would....make sure you eat correctly, get enough sleep, be kind to yourself, calm yourself down when you are feeling like a child, reacting like a child...
example the other evening something made me angry, made me want to throw a temper tantrum, just like a child would. I calmed myself down with...self talk... relax amanda, take a deep breath its not as bad as it seems, we are out in public we cant just sit down, kicking and screaming, its time to calm down and take it one step at a time. heres some paper lets shred some paper, now take another deep breath lets take a walk and see what things we can see....
if you are talking about inner children as in the mental disorder DID well thats a bit more complicated. you have to first develop whats called co consciousness... thats being aware that, that alternate personality exists, and then find a way to communicate with that alternate personality, then set rules/ boundaries, work on what ever traumatic events this alternate personality holds......in other words you need a therapist for this kind of work with this kind of "inner child" most people with alternate personalities take years and years to learn about their alternate personalities and supply their alternate personalities with what ever that alternate personality is....example when I found out my alternate personality Rainy existed and that she cried, loved soft blankets and rag dolls I bought soft blankets and rag dolls and left them in each room so that no matter when I switched into that alternate personality as Rainy I would be able to use the blanket and rag doll.