Quote:
Originally Posted by Blitter2014
Sammy, your life story is truely inspiring and your living by the "golden rule" proves thewisdomof those ancient words.
But the crash, the letting people down, the having to hide from society, not able to answerthephone, the door, and others although knowing labelling me as unreliable....it just kills me inside and kills any desire to climb back out of the hole- everyone knows sooner or later Ill be back there again. . . . How do you overcome that? Joy is derived from pleasing others but how do you derive that joy when other leave you feeling disappointed with yourself, or pity you. As I said I really really admire your innner strength, I wish I had it, but I dont, I have always needed the apporval of others.....what do you do if you are just weak and pathetic always needing reassurances from others to function?
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You have several questions within your post to which I'd like to share openly.
Regarding "letting people down," I would like to use an analogy. If a man is driving down a busy avenue with his car-poolers from work, and he suddenly has a heart attack causing him to swerve into on-coming traffic - has he "let people down?" Even if several victims are injured, is it his fault? Did he decide at some point to place others in harm's way? Of course not! Does he owe anyone an apology for having a heart attack? No! Certainly he may be heart broken over the tragedy, and even apologize to the victims, but he is completely without blame. And so are you for the results of your bipolar symptoms! STOP BLAMING YOURSELF!
You also ask how I apply "The Golden Rule" for the long term. That's easy - our Father provides me with the inspiration, strength, and resources to carry on in the light of His Will. All I have to provide is the willingness to do so - and the rewards on earth and in His Kingdom are immeasurable. I have joy in my heart because He gives me MEANING. Your meaning may be quite different, but the concept is the same. Don't confuse purpose with meaning. I have a "purpose" in carrying out the trash every week, but I have meaning whenever I commit myself to something of great personal importance. It doesn't have to be of a religious nature necessarily: it could be as simple as helping out on a school field trip. Try it and then ask yourself if it doesn't bring you personal satisfaction.
As far as your statement, "I have always needed the approval of others." Damn - I used to be like that too! But I'm older and presumably wiser now, and I say TO HELL WITH WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK! Be your own person. No matter what you do or how well you do it - there's always some schmutz who'll criticize you. When I was a busboy in a nice restaurant four decades ago, there would always be customers who'd criticize the food, the service, the background music . . . Hell, I even had a customer complain to the management that my hairstyle (English shag) was inappropriate. There are a lot of very, very unhappy people in the world and many of these try to feel better by putting others down. They are not worth your time and attention - trust me.
Baruch Tihiye (Blessed you will be)