I'm up late, can't sleep due to a cold. So I will be short. . . . but I am hopeful.

I love your honesty! And in spite of the fact that I'm devotely religious, by your description of religious beliefs leading you to believe that God would substitute for sound psychiatric treatment (psychotropic medications), perhaps you were delusional. Less than a month ago, a woman with diabetes in my apartment building died of complications of her illness - but she didn't have to die. She had chosen to abandon her insulin shots, because her faith in God would heal her.

Now I say that God provides us with the tools not only to live our lives, but to prosper. Why would you dig a garden with your hands, when there's a shovel in the toolshed? Better yet, why would you hang out at the bar waiting for God to plant your garden?

I believe it was the great American poet and writer, C.W. Lewis who wrote, "An atheist cannot find God anymore than a burglar can find a policeman."

May I recommend that you try once again to seek Him out.

Baruch Tihiye (Blessed you will be)