ethersvirtue, I just want to emphasize that dissociation is a NORMAL response to stressors. We all dissociate a little. And that is not "diagnosable" as anything. It is just called "dissociation". I know the word makes it sound formidable, but it can be as benign as spacing out. My T scared me once, before I understood what dissocation was, by telling me that when I watch incense burn and space out, I'm dissociating as a way of coping with stress! Now that I understand it, I realize that was dissociation- and I was using it to cope. Dissociating does not mean you will be diagnosed with anything at all. It depends on your other symptoms, and degree to which you dissociate. You've not said anything that makes it sound like you have a dissociative disorder. And it doesn't sound like your T thinks you have one, either. They were just telling you that you have a strong tendency toward dissociation (as exhibited by your emotional numbness), as a coping strategy. Dissociation only becomes problematic when it interferes with leading a full life, a full emotional life being part of that. I was confused and scared when my T told me that I dissociate, so I understand what you're going through. Since then, I have learned a LOT about dissociation and that has helped me recognize and come to terms with my own dissociative responses.

I want to reccomend a book to you, but before I do, let me make something ABUNDANTLY clear as to avoid the confusion created last time I reccomended this book to someone! There is a book about Dissociative Identity Disorder, and a small part of that book describes dissociation in general, NOT particularly as it relates to dissociative disorders. This is clearest description of dissociation I have read, and it helped me understand it much better. I am NOT saying you have Dissociative Identity Disorder- that is not even a thought in my mind. I am ONLY suggesting you read the part in this book that tells about different types of dissociation, and what dissociation is exactly. The book is called "The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook" by Deborah Haddock. If I had the book with me, I would most likely post the part of it on dissociation, because so many people keep asking about it. But I have loaned it to someone right now! I wish I did have it!!!

Anyway, I hope all this helps you out rather than further confusing you. If you want to talk more about your own dissociative responses, feel free to post again. You can also feel free to pm me if you'd like to hear more about my dissociation. I don't mind telling you how and when I dissociate and how I realized it, if it would help you out.

Take care!

Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-