I've never been diagnosed with NPD -- most recently was diagnosed with PDNOS and I believe that I could have been diagnosed with OCPD 20 years or so ago had they been diagnosing PD's then.

I started looking in a university library 20 years or so ago to try to find out what might be behind my continuing dysthymia which did not respond to therapy. I came upon books about "narcissism" and felt horrified -- but continued the research as much as I was able, and developed a tolerance.

So -- I'm pretty aware now of my PD characteristics. Showed one T an article by Sam Vaknin back in about 2001 and said that I felt like that. She replied "Why do you read stuff like that?" Eventually I became extremely frustrated, she wasn't understanding me, etc. and she said something at which I erupted. "Now do you believe I have a personality disorder?" I asked. "Yes," she replied, "I thought you were better than that." I left.

Translation -- I'd been trying to explain my issues, whatever they were, and get some help with them. She dismissed my direct suggestion -- the Sam Vaknin article, and then shamed me when my behavior demonstrated the problem directly. How does a profession get away with this kind of stuff? Because the people who observe it are . . . people with personality disorders.

My current T (4 years now) is a specialist in trauma. We've pretty well dealt with that, now focusing on the "traumatized self" or "wounded narcissism".

Really, really sucks. It's frequently been really, really painful. But I believe it IS possible to "get well" or close to it. Why do I believe that? Why have I continued despite the harrowing experiences with failed therapies? Why do I continue to do this at 66 years old? Because, what else is there to do? (Also maybe obsessiveness, but wtf.)

Maybe you'd like to check out a therapist who specializes in Heinz Kohut's "Self" psychology? He was an expert on narcissism, wrote books back in the 1970's.

Good luck and please keep posting. I'll be interested in what you find that helps or doesn't. Plus, I don't know any better way right now to let "the world" out there know what we're up against. I believe we can get "well" or at least a whole lot "better", and that there have to be enough of us who do that to help change attitudes and develop and strengthen effective treatments.