Hi jefftele.

No, you are not alone. I am very afraid of getting better, too. Mostly b/c I know I can relapse so quickly & it is pure hell trying to pull myself back out.............and it looks & feels so hopeless for so, so long.

However: I have struggled now for years & years. I am FINALLY starting to feel somewhat better -- after being on the meds for just over EIGHT weeks.

I know having to take meds is the pits. Meds, imho, are not the be all & the end all; rather, they are just part of the puzzle. They can help to bring you up to a level so that you are capable of helping yourself & functioning better.

I find that several other things help me, which may help you, too:

1. My friends

2. Exercise

3. Therapy (finding the right T is crucial, though)

4. Trying to get outside -- I know you probably don't feel like this, though

5. Talking to others w/ similar issues here

6. Journaling (sometimes)

7. Trying to carefully monitor my stress levels

8. Trying to figure out my triggers and/or things/ppl that potentially contribute to my depression

Um, that's all I can think of, now. Good luck.

Des