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Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe
Have you any contingency plans for tonight if you end up feeling that bad again? Nights are always the worst for me too. You can go to A&E and they will arrange for the crisis team to assess you. You could try NHS 111, they should be able to put you in touch with a crisis line that is open. I suppose you could just lie about where you are, give a false postcode or something.
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I really am my own worst enemy... when in that state part of me is thinking how stupid I am and how underserving of help I am, that others are in more need than me and how dare I waste anyones time... that I give myself two choices... man up and just do it... or fight it on my own and try to exhaust myself to sleep.
Problem I have with the whole A&E thing is down to appearances and again part of why I beat myself up... that was I to go to A&E saying about suicidal thoughts etc... all I'd be thinking is 'well clearly you're talking ****... if you were serious, you wouldn't be at A&E begging for help... you'd be committing to your intentions'.
I hope that makes some kind of sense... I just always feel that it's purely down to me to deal with these things when it happens.
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I know that having been knocked back once the very last thing I would want to do is set myself up again. However, knowing that you can reach out can be an empowering experience too, I hope it is for you. My twisted sense of humour would have me ringing up at 00:59 and then force them to talk for 6 hours. Well I would do if I wasn't so apathetic.
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Heh, there was a bit of cruel irony in it happening. I've called before, and they are hard to get hold of... been a few times where it's just been an engaged number. Had a feeling of thank god when a human was on the other end of the phone... and then that happened.
I know I said 'hilarious' at the time... and all I could do was laugh bitterly once I hung up.
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Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK