((((((((((Melle)))))))))))) You're not stupid and you don't need an excuse to ramble or vent here. It's okay, just let it out. We ALL understand and have done it ourselves.
It does help to "talk" through things here and the response is usually always supportive and helpful. It amazes me how much this place helps me out and I don't even realize it until I see how many obstacles I've pushed through and I know it was with the help of this wonderful website.
So, PLEASE, keep rambling and working things out. We're here. I'm glad you found us.
By the way-if you're feeling lonely and confused, it's because you're feeling lonely and confused-regardless of what you may think you SHOULD be feeling because of circumstances. Forget the "shoulds"-there's a reason why your'e feeling lonely and confused so don't punish or deny yourself of those feelings that you need to work out-k?
More hugs! ((((((Melle)))))))