I totally relate to your post! I've had trouble keeping a job for more than 6 months at a time since my first job at 18. I was diagnosed with bipolar 5 years ago and I'm still having trouble accepting the fact that I'm not like everyone else but on the same note that doesn't mean I can't be successful. When I say successful I mean winning little battles we go through everyday such as getting to work or taking our meds as prescribed. I noticed when I give myself credit for winning those little daily battles I find it easier to do it again. I know it sounds tedious but acknowledging often that I'm on the right track helps me stay on the right track. Lastly, if you feel your meds aren't enough or you're still feeling hopeless tell your doc or even get a second opinion on the medication choices. Once I found the correct balance of needed meds I not only found I could deal with my emotions successfully but I also didn't experience those negative emotions as often. The right medication changed my life and it took several doctors to get it right. You are not alone in this lifelong journey. Contact me anytime