@ Maria116 Sorry for being dumb, but what do you mean?

@ TrueMe - The thing is I don't think I am being hard on myself. This man is my best friend and I am supposed to be his, but I am acting like a b**ch and not being fair to him. He almost knows me better than I know myself. I am acting like a drama queen and that is definitely not normal for me. My behavior hurts him and it hurts me. I am afraid that this will come to a stage where he is fed up and he can't take any more....and I will only have myself to blame. We do spend hours every day together, and I suppose in some ways, what we have is a relationship without the relationship part. The blame is all mine here, he will say something innocent and I will read more into it and think there is a chance, next time he will say something else, and I'll realise that I've been kidding myself. If it was any one else saying these things, I wouldn't think twice about them...it's just normal conversation.
I love him, yes, more than I should, but when I'm with him, I don't really see him in a sexual way...although I am attracted to him. I don't know if that makes sense. I also love him dearly as a friend and I would like to keep our friendship. If it's not already too late.