I have got myself into a terrible mess. After years of being addicted to drugs (of many kinds) I found tramadol. I have been using daily for months. Anyway, I thought it was time to stop them so I joined a drugs forum where they told me something called Kratom could help with withdrawals. But I have been taking the kratom to get high and now alternate between the tramadol and kratom to get high all the time.

I keep making appointments to go get help but never show. I am constantly high and have been in a daze for months now. I don't know how to stop. If I give it all up, I will face going back to being depressed and anxious. So please tell me, how am I supposed to do this?

I really want to clean up but I am so scared of doing so and going back to how I was. I hardly post here anymore because I have been so happy (high)

So seriously, how am I supposed to give this up when I know what I'll face?