ive been where u are. i used drugs to cope with depression for a long time. honestly when u first start to get sober and are sober for a while its hard to deal with the depression and anxiety because u had a crutch for it for so long. but trust me that fades away. u just need to be 100% committed to changing ur behavior and life and stay consistent. u will also need a LOT of support. its about taking responsibility for your life and what you are doing with it. we have no reason to be responsible if we are on drugs. because our lives are always just about getting that high. it takes a lot of growing up and holding urself accountable. i did it. i was addicted to opiates very seriously for years. it was one of the hardest things i ever did, get sober. but i did it. and i believe you can do it too