Hello Redegg: You write that little things push you down the emotional ladder. You don't say what those things are. I know, for myself, I have always had a tendency to pop off at any little thing such as a perceived slam in someone's comment or some little thing I would do or couldn't do such as dropping something, particularly if it made a mess, or not being able to get the lid off of a jar. I've been on 120 mg. of Cymbalta for about 2 years now. It hasn't done a whole lot for my depression. But it has definitely made a difference in terms of my short fuse. This is the reason I stay on it, basically.

I would, however, also like to mention something else that may or may not hold any value for you. There is a wonderful little book titled: "Let Your Life Speak- Listening for the Voice of Vocation". The author is Parker J. Palmer. (I highly recommend it.) The premise of this book is basically that before we decide what we want to do with our lives, we should figure out essentially "what will work for us" (my words.) In other words we should take time to think about what we're good at, what makes us feel happy & fulfilled, what kinds of demands & stresses we can or can't handle, and so forth. So many of us pursue things in our lives that are in truth just wrong for us. And we pay the price for this.

I did this. I pursued vocational goals that were completely out of line with my temperament & have suffered mightily for having done so. I pursued a profession that requires large amounts of public contact. Well, , I HATE public contact! As I've gotten older & now am no longer working, I've become something of an urban hermit! And I'm more content for it. And I could go on...

So, basically, what I'm suggesting is that if you find yourself constantly popping-off at every little thing & being mad at yourself for doing so, & disliking other people because of what they say to you, or how they treat you, maybe there are things about your life situation that are causing you ongoing levels of stress that you simply are not built to tolerate. I do believe that constant stress builds up over time & at some point begins to "leak through" in differing ways. It's like one of these paper milk cartons. If you leave the milk in it long enough, not only will the milk sour, but after a while it will begin to leak through the carton.

Anyway, yes, I absolutely know what you're experiencing. I've had a lifetime of it. And it hasn't been pretty, I guarantee. I wish you all the best.