I'm so overwhelmed, frustrated, and just want to give up. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. Everything is bothering me lately, and things are so financially difficult right now. My therapists are right that I've basically been in crisis for the last 6 months. I feel like this depression and anxiety have came out of nowhere, and now I can't get out of it.

My father is moving out here in the next few weeks, and that's a MAJOR trigger for me. I haven't lived in the same state as him since I was 14. He wants to be apart of my life, and thinks we'll have this great relationship. Instead I'm over here panicking and trying to figure out a plan to be safe around him.

My IOP therapists have asked me about SI, and I admitted to a plan that I have in the back of my mind. I worry that the depression is going to suck me down more, and my father coming out here is going to push me over the end to try it.