Quote:
Originally Posted by emomom
We've been married 28 yrs, a retired military couple. His last active duty year and the last 4 years since his retirement he has worked in DC as a defense contractor while I live in VA I was still raising my kids. They are now married and out of the house. I asked about moving where he works and he said no, he makes more money this way. We have had many separations and much neglect over the many years. He has been a workaholic when he has been 'home'. We have been to marriage counseling several times.
When I am stable I do my own thing and ignore it. When I get in a 'mood' I cant ignore it. I dont know why. But no, I didnt sign up selfishly to have 'security' it has been a military marriage from day 1 and our first duty station was Germany with our first child born there. I was just fortunate that I could stay home to raise my kids. I have supported my husband while he did his job in the army all those years. Army wife/mom is a difficult job.
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in order to have any hope of saving this marriage..you guys are going to have to spend more time together..you deserve much better than this. it is not fair for you to have to "ignore it" a marriage is about two people working together to make EACH OTHER happy.
i can understand your sense of "duty" and i can imagine being an army wife must be extremely difficult...but still you deserve some quality time and he should be giving it to you...too often we put up with things we shouldn't because of familiarity or fear of the unknown, in order to be happy we must recognize life's signals that tell us when something is wrong, when we choose to ignore them..we stay miserable, i too have been guilty of this and only now after so many years do i fully realize the truth of that statement.
the neglect is not fair & he has been retired for 4 yrs..enough is enough..its time for you or its time to move on..he needs to make some concessions or you are going to have to walk away..you can be lonely all by yourself...this is basically holding you hostage, while giving you no attention whatsoever..you can do better...hope this helps! & good luck..i hope he changes for you guys!
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
