Well, I guess I'm not a good person to be offering advice with regard to the subject of family relations. I don't have any extended family any longer. My parents are both deceased; & I had as little to do with them as I could when they were alive. So take what I say with the proverbial grain of salt. But my perspective is that you don't owe your father anything; or at least you owe yourself first. It sounds to me that you're in a pretty dim place right now. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself first & foremost. If your father wants to move to the state you live in, that's up to him. But I would encourage you not to let him take over your life.

If he wants to be part of your life, & you either want him to, or feel like you can't refuse, perhaps one way to get started is to arrange for some daughter / father counseling sessions. If your father is that interested in re-uniting, he should be willing to pay for some or all of the costs.

In terms of your current depression, I would suggest either getting on some anti-depressants or taking a look at what you're on now. If you begin to feel you are in danger, then perhaps some time in the hospital should be considered.