So here I am.. after a fairly stable two months, here I am back to the place where I see no hope, no future, etc. T and I texted back and forth a bit this afternoon, and he assured me that we working on this pattern of being fine and dipping back to the bottom. When, I saw him on Friday he reminded me that he wouldn't see him next Friday because his practice is moving into their new building on that day, but assured me that I could text if I needed him. When we were trying to figure out what was going on with my daughter and I emailed him to tell him I wouldn't be able to make it in on our regular day as she had a medical test, he said I could see him that afternoon, he texted me to find out if my daughter was ok out of the blue last week.

Remembering all of these times he has been there for me, his encouragement, his sometimes "tough love," him sharing his expertise, his nonjudgmental attitude reminds me of what a great T I have. Like, I truly lucked out. And the thought crossed my mind this afternoon when he told me these were the things we are working on... What if he can't help me? What if I have had the best T on the face of the earth and I just can't be helped. What if I am just wasting his time, my time, and my money? Or- what if he finally decides that I am beyond his capabilities and terminates?