People with high self-esteem don't need to be "pumped up" all the time like that - it's people who actually have very low self-esteem who are trying to over-compensate by acting/pretending they are better than other people (and needing to be told how great they are). Not saying all your boyfriends had NPD, but that is referred to as "narcissistic supply" in regards to narcissism. People with narcissism seem like they have soaring self-esteem (and have huge egos) but actually they have very low self-esteem. Maybe you are a narcissist magnet