Hey there. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and I'm sorry to hear that. I'm assuming that you're still in school? Have you thought about talking to your parents, or the school counselor? If you don't feel comfortable talking to those people, you could talk to a favorite teacher, coach, religious leader, doctor, etc... But the bottom line is: I really recommend talking to someone about what you're going through so you can get help and start feeling better. It sounds like you're dealing with some really tough problems, things that are too difficult for someone to have to manage alone. Admitting that you need help is really, really brave, and it's the first step to improving your situation. Please think about it. Back in January, I finally told my coach (I'm 16, in high school) about what was going on with me, and he talked to my parents, and now I'm in therapy...so if you want any advice on how to go about doing this, what will happen, etc., feel free to send me a message and I'll be more than happy to help. Good luck! You can get through this. Stay strong. <3