Hi Nolafeline, I know where you're at. I have no friends either. I don't want to live if I'm no good, and most of today that's how I felt. I've always been a kind and gentle person, there just really is no god .

The only thing keeping me going today is that stuff could change for me tomorrow. I've been happy before. The only thing you can guarantee in life is change. My advice, get angry! It's a lot more pleasant for me to be angry than depressed...

All the stuff you described sounds like major depression, I get that.