Your heart fell for a very complicated person. You may get over this situation but what about the next. You cannot help who you fall for but you will have to learn how to deal with this type of person - Love Does Not Conquer All. Ask my x husband and a couple boyfriends that did not know how to deal with me when I was pretty sick.

I did get better and better .

It's awful to be held hostage to someone that threats suicide. I hope he is getting help for himself.

You need to forgive yourself for cheating. If this is something you contiue to do...you have a problem and need to figure out why you would do that