Well now.....quite a roller coaster ride you have both been on.

One of the things that has always amazed me about human behavior is how we choose to ignore some very obvious problems in a relationship. The old addage that "love is blind" is so very true.

Maybe I see things too black and white here, but from what I have read, he has shown from the start that either he does not feel the connection with you he was hoping would be there, he has some major issues with commitment or he has some emotional difficulties that he is grappling with. His waffling back and forth is a sign of some kind of problem.

I'm willing to bet that if you were to continue a relationship with this man, you would have nothing but heartache along the way. Up one minute, down the next. The fact that you would have to sneak to get information from him shows that you don't trust him and what he is saying. It also shows that deep down inside you are questioning the whole validity of this relationship.

My thought would be that you should cut the ties and move on. I have a feeling that if you were to listen to your gut, it would tell you the same thing. Your gut instinct won't lie to you, but your heart and sometimes your head will. Ask yourself if you are up for a relationship of ups and downs, sneaking and not knowing where you stand. To me, that is no way to exist and the relationship would be doomed.

I'm sorry if this isn't quite what you wanted to hear. I wish you well and hope you make the right decision, whatever it may be

J