Hi TJ, sounds like a really mixed up morning and quite hard underneath for you (and even a feeling of numbness can be hard!!) ??? But from what you've said you've come through it really well for all "appearances" . So.......wow!!........you should be feeling really proud of yourself for that!!!
As for the card...........more important things than that right now aren't there??? And whatever's happened to it then there's only so much you can do anyway e.g. phone up and cancel it. Fingers crossed you find it but if not then.......you know you can handle/sort it don't you? And **** have you handled much worse, so not that big a deal really.
And try not to push/expect/hope for too much from yourself. I mean you've just come through "the weekend" which was "pretty rough". And if you need extra support, from wherever then nothing wrong with that.
Just try to take it easy, bit by bit.....and don't forget, even though I know it's really hard, you have come a long way from that "considering". And if you aren't feeling in a place to think of helping yourself right now, then perhaps let us try to help you a bit......in whatever way we can, please?
Alison