Reading the wrong things, getting confirmation that my views and my outlook on life is objectively wrong. And I've wasted a whole day doing almost nothing. And no, it's not okay to do that. My best friend tells me that I enjoy feeling lousy, and he's probably right, because I'm sure as hell not doing much of anything to fix it. And I have the perfect life in every way so why am I feeling like this? It must be because I like playing the martyr.

I'm txting T to cancel tomorrow. I don't deserve to see him.