You will continue to have no one to count on in your life if you continue with the married men scenario. They are not there to be counted on by you, but to find a thrill outside the place they really are committed. At least more than they are to you.

Please find a T. That can be a place you can start building some trust skills & start to see you are Worth The Effort it will take. You don't have to be an accessory in someone else's life. You can have the life you want to live.

All the best to you as you go forward on this.