Hi, Gordon, and welcome.

It would seem that it may be a problem until professional help IS an option. This has gone on for quite a long time it seems.

Even if she won't go, you can.

There may be person beliefs interfering with her desire at this point, it could be physical, it could be a number of things and a professional could help to find out what's going on.

I think foreplay goes on for most women around the clock...the winks from across the room, doing the dishes the night she was really tired after dinner, etc. In other words it's the "extras".

Also, if there's been alot of upheaval, discord in your relationship, this could be a direct result.

Another issue could be her self-perception of her body. If she finds her self unattractive (whether you do or not), it can affect it greatly.

There could just be many reasons, and I doubt you'll have luck at the solution until you find the source.

I do wish you well.

KD