Hello Travelinglady,

I understand you are talking about an adult child and that would be someone who is over 18. As a parent we want the best for our children whatever age they are. My 24 year old is still a baby to me!

I think it is about trying to find a balance, caring but also stepping back. Just like a therapist would. Do too much for them and the adult child will either be resentful (not compliant) or completely reliant and unable to make decisions for themselves.

A parent I know had three children and one of them (a girl) fell in with a drug addict. They had their own children together and unfortunately the girl also became a drug addict. The parent felt absolutely dreadful and blamed herself for how things had turned out. If she could have stepped back, she would have seen that it was totally misplaced guilt. What that parent did do was to support the grand children and get her daughter into hospital. It was very hard on the parent but the happy ending to that story is that the daughter got clean and ten years later she is doing very well as a counselor for other young people with drug problems.

Here is an article I found on supporting an adult child in a bad relationship, not quite supporting an adult child with mental health issues but the principles are the same. When Your Adult Child is in a Bad Relationship | Psych Central

Hope this helps.