Oh my. I understand you freaking out about it. I was very upset when I found out I was borderline. I went into denial and kept trying to think of ways to prove I didn't have it. Now, I don't label myself as borderline, I'm just me and I am doing the best I can to stay on an even ride. Some days are good and others not so good. I found it to be a great comfort to realize that there are so many others just like me. I also now understand what I have gone through my whole life--makes a kind of sense now. I am not a "bad" person. I am someone who has borderline personality and that's not my fault at all. You'll be okay too.