i know. it hurts like crazy but i keep forcing myself to try because its the only thing i can think of to do to try to eventually lessen the pain im already in from loneliness and everything else. hang on to the hope that there is a good reason for getting close. maybe you could try go over your relationship in your head to highlight and think about the good experiences you had and what positives you can take with you to hold tight to and help you remember?

(((((((((((((canders)))))))))))))