IMHO, it's a bad sign that you had to adopt a second persona to find out what you wanted to know. I would be troubled by own duplicity in this matter. I am not saying that YOU should be. I am only saying that that would be so uncomfortable for me that I would not be able to continue in a situation where I had not been able to be true self 100 percent of the time.

Best wishes for finding out your inner truth and pursuing it.