I have emotional contro0l issues also.emotions were repressed,then explosive outbursts occur when they build up.Poor self esteem causes me to feel on the defensive frequently.I find that not attempting to control others and deciding what will or won't work in my relationships help.I know it's difficult but it can be done.I t feels unbearable breaking up and this will pass intime and then you can work on the control issues,but have to go your grieving process first