So for anyone who hasn't been following me, I have a really hard time accepting anyone's love or compassion. If someone tells me they love me, I usually don't believe them and I ask for lots of reaffirmation that it wasn't a mistake.

In the past, LCM would not say "I love you" and it was kind of a big deal. She said she won't say it just to make me happy and instead wants to show me how she feels about me through her actions instead of just telling me because love and compassion are more than just words. I'd tell her that I love her and she wouldn't reciprocate. I wasn't looking for her to reciprocate after a while. I knew she wouldn't say it back. I just like to tell people I love them if I do. I began to not panic when she didn't say it back because I started to understand that her not saying it doesn't mean that she doesn't love me. And I decided that I think she does. She loves me at least in terms of how I define it.

Today, she said she loves me. I didn't say it first. She just said she loves me. And I believed her. I believe her. I don't need to sit around and question it because I know she does. I've never been able to accept that before. And I am so happy because I know I said that I already knew, but I still secretly wanted her to confirm my suspicions.

This is just me being happy. I know people will be skeptical of the boundaries. That's okay. I just feel like I might have accidentally made progress and didn't even notice.

Oh and my first day at work was today too. It was a training session to see if I would fit in the job and it went really well. My supervisors were impressed at my abilities to handle an obnoxious customer. The customer was angry with me when I wouldn't let her break the rules of the house. She cussed me out and caused a scene and I remained steadfast about the rules without fighting back or losing my cool. My supervisors made a note to my boss that I was very impressive. So I officially got the job.

LCM and I narrowed down the list of T's to call. I'm going to call one tomorrow. We wrote a script.

So yeah sorry I'm just writing about nothing. Maybe it will be refreshing to see me not whining about something.