I'm in such a terrible state of despair. My first husband died when I was 28 yrs old. I was pregnant with our 3rd child. After almost a year I met a wonderful man and fell so deeply in love. He worked out of town and I only saw him every other weekend. We dated 11 1/2 yrs before we got married (this was not ok with me). He continued working out of town being moved around every 3 or 4 yrs. Somehow I got it in my head that after the kids left home I would be with him. This didn't happen. In the 30 yrs we've known each other he has lived at home 6 yrs. We live in his very tiny hometown. He has his high school and college buddies here. I've tried so very hard to involve myself in the town activities and church to no avail. My friend lives out of town. I've tried so hard to get through to him how lonely I am. To make matters worse on the weekends he has his own agenda, things he HAS to take care of. I've tried to be invoved with his activities like hunting, his suggestion was that he would drop me off and when I was finished he would pick me up. Defeat, Defeat, Defeated. I'm supposed to meet with a counselor this week. He likes the idea as he thinks I need medication.